me in the morning: wow did i lose weight or
me after lunch: i'm so fat omg what is this
me in the afternoon: i'm gonna start my diet right now
me eating dinner: idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
me after dinner: i hate myself
using my mom's money: im going to buy that, $150? im definitely buying that.
using my money: $2? that's too much
consulting-meerkat: tribbles-hiddles-and-sex-oh-my: jesus-tapdancing-christ: scuba-steve-damn-you: helloemilyjane: videohall: Every 3D movie is the same now i just pissed myself so unfortunate and three flying things omfg i am screaming Oh god I’m dying…. So perfect.
sterlingcoopertaylorpryce: letscausesomefuckinghavoc: heyfunniest: Fifty Shades of Grey narrated by Gilbert Gottfried OH MY FUCKING GOD Can we also get this is in “Bobcat Goldthwait” please?